The trick is to find a hippo. Kill it with a sharp rock. If you stand right in front of them, they can’t see you… But you have only 30 seconds before starts getting suspicious. Wear the hippo skin to protect yourself from the lions. Don’t share this safety with anybody, it will make you weak. Your only ally is your instincts. Trust no one. Especially not tourists. All foreigners who ask stupid questions should be treated with caution and extreme sarcasm and shouldn’t be touched with a ten foot pole.
Anyway, there’s a rare virus killing off the village. I have to go see what I can do about it. But if you want more tips on how to survive in Africa, just message me.